Shame, Resilience, and Connection: Acadiana Edition
February Guide
February in Acadiana is a mix of energy and emotion. We have long work weeks, packed family schedules, and Mardi Gras season on top of everything else. That can bring joy and connection, but it can also bring stress, comparison, and the pressure to keep it together.
This month in our yearlong growth series, we are focusing on shame, resilience, and connection. The goal is simple: help you understand what shame is, how it affects mood and relationships, and how to build skills that support healthier connection.
Use this guide however you want. You do not have to do it all. Pick what fits your life.
A quick note about mental health and diagnosis
Feeling stressed, low, anxious, irritable, or overwhelmed can happen for many reasons. A mental health diagnosis requires a full assessment using DSM-5-TR criteria and should be made by a qualified professional. If you are unsure what you are experiencing, counseling can help you sort it out.
February theme in plain language
Shame is the feeling that something is wrong with me.
Guilt is the feeling that I did something wrong.
Shame pushes people toward hiding. Connection helps shame lose its power.
Resilience is not about being tough all the time. It is the ability to recover, repair, and keep moving forward with support.
How to use this guide
Pick one track or mix them together.
Track A: The reader
Read both books and use the reflection prompts.
Track B: The watcher
Watch one or both movies and reflect.
Track C: The skill builder
Choose one skill per week and practice it.
Track D: The busy adult
Do one tiny step per week. Two minutes still counts.
February picks
Self help book
The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown
Why we chose it:
This book focuses on shame resilience, self worth, courage, and belonging. It is practical, relatable, and fits the February theme perfectly.
Try this while you read:
Keep a note in your phone titled “Small Shifts”. Each time you notice shame, write what triggered it and one kinder response you could try.
Reflection prompts
Where do I try to be perfect to feel safe?
What do I do when I feel exposed or judged?
What does belonging mean to me in real life?
What would change if I believed I was worthy right now?
What is one small act of courage I can practice this week?
Growth book not self help
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
Why we chose it:
This novel explores isolation, healing, and the power of steady connection. It is not a self help book, but it is full of insight about how people cope and how relationships can change a life.
Reflection prompts:
Where do I keep myself at a distance and why?
What does connection feel like when it is safe?
What is one moment in the story that felt familiar?
What is one small way I could soften toward myself?
Who is one person I could let in a little more?
Movies for February
Movie 1
Silver Linings Playbook
Theme:
Repair, resilience, and the messy reality of growth.
Watch with this lens:
Notice how support, structure, and honest conversations impact the characters.
Reflect after watching:
What helps me calm down when I am activated?
What do I do when I feel rejected or embarrassed?
What is one repair conversation I have been avoiding?
What kind of support actually helps me?
What does taking responsibility look like without shame?
Movie 2
The Sound of Metal
Theme:
Identity change, acceptance, and support when life shifts.
Watch with this lens:
Notice how the character moves through grief, resistance, and eventual adaptation.
Reflect after watching:
What am I struggling to accept right now?
Where do I try to control what I cannot control?
What does support look like for me?
What would it mean to slow down and listen?
What part of my identity is changing and how can I respond with compassion?
February playlist
Purpose:
Music can be a bridge. When shame shows up, people often withdraw. A playlist can be a cue to return to yourself and take one small connection step.
How to use it:
Choose one moment each day to use music as a reset. During one song, do one small action.
Examples:
Take five slow breaths
Text one safe person
Drink water and eat something steady
Take a two minute walk
Write one sentence about what you feel
A simple weekly rhythm for February
You do not need a perfect plan. Try this flexible structure.
Week 1: Awareness
Goal:
Notice shame without judging yourself for it.
Tiny practice:
When shame shows up, label it.
This is shame.
Reflection:
What triggered it?
What story did I tell myself?
What did I want to do next - hide, appease, attack self, attack others?
Week 2: Resilience
Goal:
Build one skill that helps you recover faster.
Tiny practice:
The two minute reset
Exhale slowly for 6 seconds
Drop your shoulders
Name the feeling and the need
Reflection:
What helped me recover this week?
What made it worse?
What do I need more of?
Week 3: Connection
Goal:
Take one small step toward safe connection.
Tiny practice:
One text challenge
Thinking of you
Can we talk this week
I am having a hard day can you check in
Reflection:
Who feels safe to me and why?
What makes connection harder?
What would help me reach out sooner?
Week 4: Repair and boundaries
Goal:
Practice repair without shame and set one boundary with respect.
Tiny practice:
Two sentence repair
I see how that affected you
I care about us and I want to do better
Boundary script:
I cannot do that right now
I still care about you
Here is what I can do
Reflection:
What boundary would protect my energy this month?
What do I need to say no to?
What do I want to say yes to?
Mardi Gras self care and connection section
Mardi Gras can be fun. It can also be loud, social, and overstimulating. Some people feel more connected. Others feel more alone.
Before the parade or event:
Eat something with protein
Hydrate
Decide your exit plan
Pick one person you can check in with
During:
Take one quiet minute when you can
Drop your shoulders
Breathe out longer than you breathe in
After:
Shower and change clothes
Drink water
Eat a steady meal
Avoid making big decisions when you are exhausted
If shame shows up, do not isolate, do one small reach out
Quick tools you can screenshot
Shame to guilt reframe
I am bad becomes I did something that I want to change
Connection reset
Name the feeling
Name the need
Do one small reach out
If you miss a day
Restart with the easiest version
When counseling might help
Consider reaching out if:
Shame or self criticism is affecting your mood most days
You withdraw or feel disconnected in relationships
You struggle with boundaries and constant guilt
You have frequent conflict, defensiveness, or shutdown
You feel stuck repeating the same patterns
A diagnosis requires assessment using DSM-5-TR criteria, but you do not need a diagnosis to benefit from counseling. You deserve support for what you are carrying.
Closing
Shame tells you to hide. Resilience helps you recover. Connection helps you heal.
You do not have to do February perfectly. You just have to take one small step toward honesty and support.
Ready for support in Acadiana?
Acadiana Counseling Connection is located in downtown Lafayette and serves adults across Acadiana.
To schedule, call 337-205-3064 or email info@acadianacc.com.